"always expect the worse"
true friends is the one bailing u out of jail
ur best friends is the one sitting beside u sayin " that was fuckin awesome!"
so much for back together with my bf
i could scream! so i get back from england and guess wut i find in my messages from him? that he fuckin pitties me about some bullshit! before i left i spent 3 hours on the fone with him joking and stuff and half of the time he spent trying to gross me out. reading quotes from Marilyn Manson ~Long Road Out of HEll. and sayin nasty stuff. and he just couldnt so out of the blue beofreo i have to go he says " so wuts it like to have a female orgasim so i hung out the fone or pretended to and his friend who was on the fone on three with out me knowing it said hey phil why dont u get a sex change and find out! i laughed! they didnt hear me so they start talking shit about me cuz they think im not there! neway i get home and find on my messages that he pitties me for not have had and orgasum before. and he goes on like that saying that its not a joke like callin me a masterbaters he rlly does pitty me! and im so fuckin fed up with him for being an ass to me! callin me stupid constantly! u kno it was funny the first few times when he was joking and i still kno hes joking but he says it so dman seriously! and i dont want it to go to my head but it does neway so i end up acting stupid in return he calls me stupid more and more! hes mean to my friends and everyone else my friends were happy for me! but god dammit! im ready to beat the bloody fuckin shit out him! damn bastard! i sware to fucking god i am so sick of to think that i loved him! to think i told him taht! he was nice! wut the fuck happened? hes such bloody bitch ass wip little fucker!!! i let him fuckin control my life! tell wut i could and couldnt listen to! wut i could and couldnt waer! ware i could shop wut posters went on my wall wut stores i could shop at and wut sports i could play and wut i cant and if i have put on too much wait or not and if i should go on a diet and such! who my friends were and he told me while we were going out that he thought that one of my friends was hot and had nice boobs! he told me if he didnt like on of my friends and eveen if he didnt have a good reason he'd still call them fuckin ass holes and bitches and that they didnt deserve to be living on this earth and that if god was sane he wouldnt have produced them! and i still love him and i cant yell at him cuz i do love him and FUCK I CAN STAND IT! WTF! HES DRIVING ME ABSOLUTLY CRAZY AND I FELL SO BAD WHEN I YELL AT HIM BUT HE DESERVES BE FUCKIN KICKED IN THE BALLL AND THE BLOODY FUCKIN SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM AND HUMILIATED INFRONT OF SOMEONE! LIKE HE HAS DONE SO MANY TIMES TO ME! i cant fuckin believed that i loved him and that i still do! i must have lost my mind! well im going to go wrtie a song about this fuckin bloody ass shit!
help me and tell me wut u think i should do cuz im drowning in usless thoughts right now.
wow i just got back from england. it was a great trip. i went to see a whole bunch of things! stonehenge, roman baths in bath, big ben, tower of london, concerts, everything that was out there! we even went to wales on the coast! and could stand up on the point and see beatiful country and great ocean shores! it was amazing. but there was a bombing in london. it happened right after london won the place for olymics. they were suicide bombers. i waited a week before i went back hearing that everything had sort of gone back to normal. all i can say is that was not true at all! half the tubes (subway) were shut down because of the explosions. so many roads were closed because that is how they would access teh tubes. and then one explosion happened on a double decker bus. so that road was closed! traffic was absolutly hell! and you could get newhere faster on foot then taking a bus! and there were missing posters everywhere! there was a moment of silence all over england the other day .......... think and pray for them...those who got hurt
ok i hate like hate like rlly hate sterotpyes!!! some people in my school who i've stayted in touch with over the summer started bagging on me cuz im kina prepy and listen to death metal stuff! they were all up in my face about how i cant listen to it cuz 1) i was a prep and 2)cuz i want a real hard rock, death metal fan! and i agreed with them that no i wasnt a real death metal fan but i liked to listen to that kind of stuff! like i have a sex pistols cd and ac/dc cd and ozzy cd jimmy hendrix i have a few of his cds but i alos listen to like greenday and my chemical romance and blink - 182 ! they said that i could listen to that kind of stuff and like death metal at the same time! they were like all those death metal ppl like preach against the other kind of musci that u listen to i believed them but i said that i should be able to listen to wut i want and wut makes me hapy! they went on and on about how preps dont listen to that kind fo stuff and blah blah blah! how i was a poser cuz i had some punkish stuff that i wore once in a while! bu ti sware to good! i was bout to smack them all! i listen to them bitch and complain about me for over and hour in town while iw as eatting and walking so then i hooked up with my real friends and told them about it they agreed!!! that just pushed me too far!!! i was like how long u guys been thinking this! they said ever since i got together with phil cuz he listens to that kind of stuff! all my friends were like yah hes such a bad influence on u and u just try to be like him so he'll likeu more! and u listen to that other stuff too a little less then the metal stuff but still just as bad and we think u just like it cuz u still like gene and u want him to notice u too for listening to his music! and that right there just pushed me over the top! i think i defeinatly over reacted! i screamed in there faces that i was just being myself, buying the clothes that i liked and listening to music that made me happy!!! and that i didnt give a fuck wut the hell they thought! i was being myself!!! and if they had a probelm about me being a "poser" then they could keep it to themselves! i apologized quickly after that and that i was only pissed cuz they hadnt told me! compltetly contradicting wut i had just said! they forgave me! and everythings alright! but they wont let me listen to my death metal in their percence and i cant go into hot topic unless im with phil or someone other then them! rules i didnt rlly like but decided to live with for the time being! all i have to say to this is FUCK STEROTYPES!!!
fuckin shit
